I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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