you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
