I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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