I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
