3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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