Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
