We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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