he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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