I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
