"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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