break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex