walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail