i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
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I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.