i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.