Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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