What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
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You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.