so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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