I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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