so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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