why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
