Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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