our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
