Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize