Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
