my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize