We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have post one night stand depression
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