hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
