'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize