So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
