So drunk its hurt
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
