i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
