Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
