Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
