don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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