I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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