yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
