I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
