No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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