he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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