Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
