I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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