I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
