Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
