I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize