I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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