do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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