I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
