I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need water and some morals
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
