All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
