dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
