he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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