I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
