I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
