Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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