For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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