so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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