he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
