Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
