We got so high we made milksteak
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize