I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
