office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
