it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize