Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This baby is an asshole
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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