T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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