There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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