Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no, he came in my armpit
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
