using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
