I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's get the cat blown out
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
