Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
