So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
