I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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