Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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