i just google imaged poop.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Your penis caused this!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
