i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
