You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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