Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
