My first STD was from a foam party
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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