fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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