too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
